Sunday, April 10, 2011

Oh Wait... I Have A Child

This week while Facebooking (I will stop writing about my unhealthy obsession with Facebook when it stops being such a stalker-friendly, totally amazing time-suck), I read a status update about booking a last-minute trip to Florida.  And I thought That's what my life needs!  More last-minute travel plans! What an instant happiness boost and stress reliever!  Oh wait... I have a child.
That's right, Cool Parents: "Last Minute" no longer exists once you have a baby.  Think of all the factors that need consideration: babysitters, bedtimes, diaper bags, hangovers...
A few summers ago, Carrie Underwood was performing in my Nowhere city.  I got a phone call 3 hours before the show with the offer of a free ticket.  Now, you'd better bet your Baby Daddy that I immediately went into Spastic Mom overdrive. I was NOT willing to miss this show.  And wouldn't you know, my entire family (read: free babysitters) was busy.  I was thisclose to ringing my neighbor's doorbell and leaving my kid on their porch.  (Don't worry.  Sanity kicked in once I remembered that said neighbor's nickname is Pervy Pete, due to his loitering outdoors when I sunbathe.  Sidenote: Yelling "Hey Mama, lookin' good!" when I am 1) in the semi-privacy of my own backyard and 2) enjoying 30 child-free minutes, is a surefire way to make me go all Jersey Shore on you.)
And what happens when you become aware that you can no longer accept Last Minute plans?  You get a little too comfortable in your role as a parent.  Example?  A few weeks ago a (child-free) friend called on a Saturday night from a restaurant, saying I just HAD to join them right away.  My first thought was But there's a new iCarly on tonight!  And my sweatpants are so comfy!
This is what my weekends have become: couch, laptop, and iCarly with the kiddo.  (There may or may not be a bottle of wine involved.  That Spencer is so much cuter post-Pinot Grigio.  Also?  It helps me mourn my Before Baby life just a little less.)  And I'm really okay with this.
But when I get jealous of those people making their last minute travel plans?  I put on some high heels with my jammies and have a dance party with the kiddo.  (Is it bad that I've made a little boy think that Beyonce is the answer to all life's problems?  He recently said to me: "Mommy, it's okay. Just put your Freakum Dress on.")

1 comment:

  1. I know the feeling, being the only one of my friends with not 1 but 2 little ones, which I love dearly but I also can never make plans last minute or even with a notice because last minute they seem to always change. My one friend was telling me about a 3 week long, adventerous island hopping vacation that her and her husband had planned for this past winter, I listened to the scuba diving and snorkeling plans in aawwwww and was envious of the unlimited margaritas and sunshine!!! And I told her how jealous I was of her ,and her response was... well I am jealous of you and your cute little family!!!! Just a reminder of how lucky we really are!