It all started with a shower. Or should I say, my desire for a shower. I learned very quickly that leaving a baby unattended for even 3 seconds is impossible, frowned upon, and probably illegal. So how does a new mom take a 10-minute shower? The answer (at least for this Cool Mom): Baby Einstein.
However, the first 2 months of Mommyhood didn't involve much showering at all. In fact, my greasiness came in handy when trying to avoid my husband around that magical "week 6" post-baby. You know what I'm talking about, right? (And if not, your husband did not have that day circled in red marker on the calender, and he also must not have called you obsessively on the day of your 6-week check-up, saying "canwedoitcanwedoitcanwedoit." Lucky you.)
But when the time came that my child's eyes could focus on a TV screen for 8 solid minutes, I popped in a Baby Einstein DVD and did the Dance of Joy. (Sidenote: Am I the only one who still references- or remembers- Perfect Strangers? Super Sidenote: I heard that the Baby Einstein DVDs are under fire for not being "educational." Excuse me? Did you really think your 6 month-old was going to watch a movie that focuses on brightly colored stuffed animals and come away speaking Mandarin?) I quickly became addicted to all the things I could accomplish in those few minutes when my child was planted in front of a dancing puppet show. (However, listing them here will not earn me any Mommy Points. Though it will prevent you from ever asking me to babysit your children.)
As you can imagine, I created a TV Monster. My son now says things like, "How can I eat a waffle while I'm watching TV? I have to look down to get a bite on my fork, and I might miss something!"
My only consolation? At least my kid's first word wasn't Spongebob. That's not exactly something to write down in the Baby Book. (Though let's be honest. The closest thing my kid has to a Baby Book is a handful of cocktail napkins with notes jotted on them like "18 months, knows ABC's.")
Over the years, Baby Einstein morphed into WordWorld, which turned into Spongebob, which leads us to today's TV obsession: iCarly. And although I find this show hilarious (and know several Cool Moms who have a crush on Spencer), I am worried about the effect it is having on my 5 year-old. Just last week, when God and Ohio granted us an unseasonably warm February day, I turned off the TV and said "Let's go outside!" My son's response? "I'm not really into the whole 'outside' thing." And in case you were wondering? He used airquotes. Properly.